Last week I was in the midst of writing about someone when she told me to STOP. She asked me not to write out of fear that my writing would put her husband in a bad situation. I promised that before I posted anything that I would verify the information with her and we could change whatever needed to be changed. However, there was nothing I could do calm her down she had made her decision. I would have push more but there was much alarm and urgency in her voice.
I love this lady and she loves Jesus. She’s truly an amazing testimony of God’s goodness. I just hate that I am not able to share. Then I started thinking….
Fear. Trust. Faith.
The whole situation has made me evaluate my fears. There are the cultural accepted fears: those fears of animals (keep the snakes away), heights, places, and particular activities. Yet, the fears with the most power in my life are those that tend to be more silent, fears related to rejection and failure. Not too comfortable even admitting that. However, through this whole process of trying to put my heart and hands around my friend’s fear, I realized there is a reason why I am told to “fear not.” There is the holy, righteous, fear of God, but that’s not what I am talking about.
See, my friends’ fear has kept me from being able to share with you her incredible story. My fear of rejection and failure does not only affect me but those around me. More than that it really says to the one I love most: Lord, you’re not big enough for this. Or worse, “I don’t trust you.” Fear ultimately perpetuates the cycle of “me.” My fear keeps me from doing what the Lord said do.
I am not saying that my friend is being selfish, that’s not the case at all. However, I think in her mind the possibility of something happening is too great a risk and she is not ready to communicate through the issue. Currently, it is easier to just abandon ship.
Fear. Trust. Faith.
I cannot follow hard after God by faith if I cannot trust him with absolutely everything. The only room for fear is the holy fear that keeps me dethroned.
God can be taken at His word.
mms